post 8: my best thanksgiving

I posted this in 2006, and I'm sharing it again. with some edits and additions, 11 years later.

My best Thanksgiving dinner ever was 27 years ago. Far from home, far from the Land of Pochohantas and the Pilgrims. I was in South America. These were the guests of honor :

(when I first posted this  I added the 16 yo age, he is 27 now)

The cuties were in the process of being adopted from an orphanage, by families from the US. Dave and I had received an official adoption decree in court the day before, after a very long process, for the tiny guy on the far left. The US Embassy was closed to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving.  We needed to wait till Friday to get our baby's green card, to take him home.
We found other families in similar limbo to share the day. The meal itself was forgettable, save for the can of jellied cranberry that a woman from Kansas had oddly brought with her. What is forever memorable is how thankful we were to have our son, and be a family, and how we marveled at the dips and turns life takes to place you in such wonderful moments.

Being an adoptive parent makes me forever conscious of what family means. Years later I worked on a book about what happen to kids who age out of foster care. The one thing the subjects all said, whether their lives were going well or a struggle, was they wished they had a mom or dad. Not for the big things but for the small. Someone to show up at your sports games, or know you won a prize, or to call on a bad day when your car breaks down and fail a test or have a problem with a co-worker. One man in his twenties, a huge strapping entrepreneur and former college football player got tears in his eyes telling me that no one, zero, zippo, was there to see him graduate from college.

ETA:  When that baby in the photo and his younger brother, adopted 3 years later from the same orphanage, became teenagers, they brought home an assortment of friends. Some were quite likable, some were tough nuts to crack. Some had problems at home that'd make your toes curl, not that we'd know details until years later, when they finally felt OK to tell.  Some spent weekends here, some seemed to just be here a lot.  Mostly, and especially when they were younger, they just wanted to sit at the table and eat a meal together, have me yell at them to go to bed or rinse dishes and do homework and stay away from partying and give them a ride, or run their idea for a school essay by me.  Believe me, I was not always gracious about all this, it just happened. In fact, it happened before I even knew it was happening.  I'm not a "cool" parent but I listen and give opinions. 

So what can anyone do? Most of us can't make grand gestures but here are some small acts
- Be a mentor, or  volunteer at a community center, even just once in a while
- Calling the local high school and offer to have a kid shadow you in your job for a day. 
- Talk to a kid who looks rough around the edges.  A little goes a long way.

And --back to the knitting! While we are on the subject of kids without support systems and/or families
Consider a quick knit for the Red Scarf project . They are collecting handmade red/red-ish scarves  throughout December.  The students who get a hand knit scarf in a care package this February don't have families to send them something that says"I'm thinking of you". But they'll know that someone was, thanks to the efforts of Foster Care to Success , who also have an easy-to-donate-to emergency fund and textbook fund, from that link.
 I've worked with this organization for a decade+, and I will vouch for the good folks there.

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Sorry for turning into Ms Preachy McPreachPants today-- I only do it once in a very long while.  I'm about to turn my attention to FOOD  and dive in to the Thanksgiving prep/ whirlwind housecleaning. Make a mess, clean a mess, make a mess. 

I'm doing pretty poorly with the daily blogging this month but hopefully I can squeeze in  Three on Thursday, tomorrow.

november post 5: TBT red scarf project- returns

On the Throw Back Thursday bandwagon - back to Nov 2010..... I was going to post about the Red Scarf Project today, anyway. It's  time to knit or crochet this year's donation to support foster kids going it on their own in college. But I said it well before. The need hasn't changed at all. Only links have been updated, for accuracy........................so back we go 5 years this week.....

How convenient !I needed something to show,

and last week's pitstop near DC caught my mom with three scarves she & her buddy Claire knit for this year's Foster Care to Success (formerly the Orphan Foundation)  Red Scarf Project, (linked to guideline) which sends a handknit red scarf to approximately  2500 former foster kids now attending college. FYI:  The scarves should be sent to the FOSTER CARE TO SUCCESS (FCTS) office by December 15th, they get sorted and mailed on Valentine's Day.*

 This one is knit from the same Brown Sheep Lambs Pride Worsted in Wine Splash I showed last week, she can't remember which scarf pattern,  it was a 2 or 4 row repeat she downloaded. The red tweed one was Claire's; Claire said she had trouble following her directions, so the stitch is not  as it was supposed to  be but it looks pretty good in a different way. 

 

The last one is Wavy, from Knitty 06, in Cascade 220 superwash.  Although Leo is a  Miami-based college student who doesn't need a woolly scarf and, anyway, eschews handknits (I know!? let's not go there!) he modeled it  to prove that it looks pretty good on a guy even if he's making faces..

*All  Red Scarf Project details here .
Essentials:

• red or non-gender color yarn, any weight except super bulky (it mails in a fed ex box)

• any knit , crocheted or woven pattern that suits either gender. Lacy, not so much.

• 5-8" wide, about 60" or so long

The folks at the FC2S offices  are not weighing and measuring with scientific instruments, it's guidelines, don't fret! Send them by December 15 and feel good. Or, you can feel just as good by sending a donation of gift cards or money to suport the kids who have no "home" to call for reinforcements. Go, cast on for one. Or send. Today.

 

A few remaining red leaves. Just for inspiration. Doncha love red with light blue?

red:ready?

Never one for subtlety, a gentle reminder to get your needles moving for the Red Scarf Project 2009.

How lucky is it that my red photo safari yesterday segued into a job today with a red combed chicken.

Quick review: each scarf should be approximately 60" long and 5 to 8" wide, , unisex in style, preferably a shade of red, in a soft not scratchy yarn. Style up to you. You know, something you might see a successful college student wearing. Please no fun fur, no loose unwoven ends or wildy wonky mistakes. Keep in mind it'll be mailed in a fed ex box, so super bulky scarves won't work. BTW fed ex donates all the delivery, yay Fed Ex!!

The Orphan Foundation of America (OFA) is accepting the scarves for this year's care packages now through December 15th. Each scarf is sent in a care package to foster kids who have aged out of the system and are now going it on their own in college. It means A LOT to them. They do not receive care packages otherwise; there's no one to call or text at home when things are a little bumpy, or they need some help in decisions. The OFA's work in advocacy for these young people is so very worthy of your support!

Along with knitting a red scarf, ( or instead of , if your knitting plate is full ) consider:

- donating to the Red Scarf Fund for Foster Youth

- donating little items that can go inside the care packages like gift cards to inexpensive restaurants , or bookstores, or coffee shops, toiletries like hand cream or razors, , stationery goods like tape, pens, notebooks, small packets of snack foods...and if you work for a company that can do so, urge them!

- be a virtual mentor. You have no idea what an impact you can have on someone's life by mentoring. You'd be matched up with an OFA college student interested in your field, and be in contact with them for advice, encouragement and support. Read this OFA blog post entry on what a difference you can make.

- if you' re in the DC area, volunteer to help sort out or stuff care packages at OFA

- download and print this 8x10 Red Scarf Project poster/flyer, and put it up at your LYS or community bulletin board

Ok, that's my opening red post for the year. Look around at your own reds, there's got to be a shade you want to work in.